When Friends Are Gone
by QTrepe432
Summary: When all your friends are gone, will you miss them? How will you deal with one of the bigest losses of you life? Quistis asks all of these questions. She finds many answers.
1. Prologue

When Friends Are Gone

Prologue

When you find that you have no friends in the world, it's almost fatal. You keep thinking to yourself, "no one likes me, no one likes me." But the real truth is that they like you, you're just not letting them in.

Either your cocky, or you're just cooped up inside you little shell, you really do have friends that love and care for you.

Whether they come out and say it, or they try to show you how much they care, never lose sight of your friends. You'll never know how much you need them until they are gone.

My story is much like this. I always thought that I never fit in with our little group of friends. One fatal day I lost all my friends. Tragic yes I know. I was heartbroken. I never got to tell them how much they meant to me, and now I would never be able to tell them.

I'll never know what they thought of me, because I was too shy to really ask them. I mean yeah, I hung out with them, but I never really asked any of them. It would have been just too akward.

I wish I would have had the courage back then to tell them how I feel today. Now, I truly am alone, and I'll never again feel accepted or loved.

My true friends are gone and that's that. I'll never be able to love again. My life practically went with my friends. Now I have nothing, and I'm left here to die a lonely death.

If you're asking me how all this happened I shall tell you. It wont be a happy ending either. No I will tell you upfront that it will end as far from happy as you can get. I really wish you could know how lonely I feel, but you'll never understand. The least I can do is tell you my tale.

A/N: Here I am adding another story to my collection. This is going to be one of my more depressing fics. It's a change for me. Be expecting an update at least once a week since it's summer now I have nothing to do but write stories. Hehe that's one heck of a life. Sit around and write fics all day. How exciting. Well enough about me. What do ya think. Does it sound interesting? I hope this will be one of my more popular fics, but I don't really expect it to be. JUST REVIEW AND LET ME KNOW! Ttfn ta ta for now.


	2. Losing Sight Of Life

When Friends Are Gone:

Chapter 1:

Losing Sight of Life

Today was the day. Everyone was leaving for an exciting trip to Dollet. Everyone except me. I can't bare to use any vacation time. Plus, I need to grade papers, and if I would have gone with them I wouldn't have gotten it done.

I took them all to the train station and watched them leave.

"Bye Bye Quisty!" Selphie yelled out the window as the train began to take off. I waved and smiled. Once the train was out of sight, I left back to my car. I took the long way home and grabbed some breakfast on the way. It was only 5:00 in the morning and I knew I had a long day ahead of me.

I got back to Balamb at about 6:15. Classes started at 7:30, but I had to get there early to finish grading the tests I gave them yesterday. Many of them didn't do so well. I didn't expect them to do well, but I didn't think the test would be that hard.

I went to my classroom and pulled out the ungraded tests and began working on them. I sat there for almost 15 minutes. Kai, one of my students, came in and sat down at his desk. I wondered what he was doing so I stated my thoughts.

"Can I help you Kai?" I asked in my not so instructor tone.

"Yes, I was just wondering if I could get my test results before class?" He asked as I shook my head.

"No Kai, you must wait for your results along with the rest of the class." I said as he stood up mumbled a 'yes mam' and left the room.

After that I was left in silence until classes started. I just got done grading the tests when my student's came rushing in. They took a seat and once they were all in place, I stood up.

"Class." I said getting their attention.

"I was quite disappointed at the results of your tests." I began to pace back and forth, while lecturing them on their test scores.

"With scores this low, I don't know how you're going to pass this course. And if you fail, you'll be taking Summer School, with me." The kids were all dead silent and I stared at them for a moment.

I began passing out the tests, and everyone started checking their answers with their friends. Once I was finished passing out the tests, I noticed that Xu had come in. I walked over to her.

She looked so serious.

"What can I help you with Xu?" I asked as she handed me a note.

"What's this for?" I asked as Xu just shrugged.

"I'm not sure, but Cid said it was urgent." She said as she patted me on the back.

"Don't worry. I'll make sure your class doesn't get out of hand."

"Thanks, they are checking their answers on their test so they have a little bit of free time." I thanked Xu once more and I headed out the door.

Cids door was closed, but even before I knocked, Cid called me into his office.

"Quistis, come in and sit down." This all seemed too familiar. When my instructor liscence was taken from me.

"_Quistis, come in and sit down." Cid said as Quistis sat down._

"_What you did in Dollet was dangerous and against code." Cid said as he rambled on how dangerous it was._

"_But you did manage to save a group of Cadets trying to escape." Cid said as he paused as if he was going to cry._

"_I must take your instructor liscence. Our instructors can't be taking risks like that. Even if they are your friends, they must be left behind." Cid said as Quistis handed over her liscence._

"_I'm sorry Quistis. This is hard for me too. I want you to excel, but this can't become a routine. Every time someone from the orphanage gets in trouble, you can't be there to help them all the time." Quistis began crying as Cid handed her a tissue._

"_We already have a replacement for you, and she is teaching the class as we speak. You may go into your classroom after school, and remove all the things from your desk." Quistis stood up and nodded._

"_I'm sorry sir." Quistis said as she stood up and walked out the door._

"Quistis, something has happened." Cid said as I tried to get myself ready for whatever may strike me.

"A train today was on its way to Dollet, an don the way it was ambushed by a rebel group. Things were stolen, and people were killed. People were shot and killed, and then once the group left the train car, it exploded. There were no survivors."

I thought instantly of Squall, Rinoa, Selphie, Irvine, Zell, Ellone, and Seifer. I didn't expect this news. So of course, I immediately began to cry. I would never get any of them back.

"Are you sure that no one survived?" I asked in between sobs as Cid nodded.

"I sent some guards down there and they found all of our See-D's bodies and they were, no offense or anything, burnt to a crisp." I began to cry harder, and Cid tried to calm me down. Nothing worked, and I just cried harder and harder.

"Quistis." Cid said, "I know how hard this must be on you, so I have given you a long term subsitute for however long it will take you to get back on your feet. You may still live here for no cost at all." I knew Cid was trying to help but I couldn't accept this offer.

"Thank you Cid, but I can't do that. I need today off, to pay homage for my friends, but I must keep myself from thinking about them too much. I am strong and I will get through this." Cid smiled, and I thanked him for the offer.

"I'm sorry to leave you hanging like this, but I must get back to work." Cid said.

"I understand." I said as I left his office and went down to the café. It was already lunch time and I was very hungry. My eyes were red and puffy, and I had tissues stuffed in my pockets, but I didn't care what other people thought about me. They would soon know the trauma that I had gone through. I knew Cid would come over the intercom soon and tell everyone what had happened. They would pay homage for them, and wouldn't think of me as weird.

I got a hotdog, some apple juice and a brownie. I could hardly eat my food without thinking about them.

The hotdog reminded me of Zell, which made me giggle, but made me cry more.

The apple juice reminded me of Selphie because she acted like a cute little kid, and kids like apple juice right?

Then the brownie reminded me of Squall because of his chocolate brown hair.

I felt like I couldn't eat, but I knew I had to. I didn't know how I would ever be able to look at food the same way. I would never be the same.

I headed to my room after I finished my food, and cried on my bed for hours. I had so many memories, and I couldn't keep them from flooding into my thoughts. Some of them were sad, and some of them were happy. But I knew I would always remember the best of them. I missed them so much, it almost felt like I should have gone with them. Just to be with them. I would have gone too, had I known, or I would have kept them from going. It just feels so weird not having any of my closest friends to talk to, and that I would never be able to see them or thank them ever again.

While I was crying, I thought about what each of them would do if they were still around.

Well, I'll start at the top.

Squall would just sit on my bed and just watch me cry. He wouldn't really be one for comforting.

Rinoa would hold me in her lap and would be combing my hair with her fingers. She is such a motherly type of person.

Seifer would be hugging me and let me cry on his shoulder. He's not that comforting, but he would make things better by just being with me.

Irvine would try to make a move on me, but he would understand that I didn't want him as a boyfriend or anything. He definitely wouldn't be my choice. But if he lost Selphie then we would both comfort each other.

Selphie would try to make me happy, by doing something cute or crazy. But if she sang the train song, she would drive me absolutely bonkers. But now that she's gone, I wish I could hear that song just one more time.

Zell would stuff me silly with hotdogs. I wouldn't be sad anymore at least. I would be sick! I don't know which is worse, but I guess I'll never find out now.

Ellone would comfort me and said that even if she did send me into the past, there would be nothing that I could do fix what had happened.

All these thoughts that I got just made me more depressed. I wanted to be with at least one of them, but I will never know exactly how to act now that they're gone. They always lifted me up to a level of happiness and security, that I'll never have back now that they are gone.

I know I must move on, but I just can't. It's just that I spent my entire life with most of these people. I just can't shake the fact that they were my world. My everything. I mean Seifer and I were starting to get very serious in our relationship. He was actually not being cocky about dating his past instructor and I knew that we were actually getting somewhere.

For once in my life, I actually felt like I was part of their little group of friends, and now I realize that I was a part of their group all along.

I haven't eaten much even though I know I should. It's just I keep imagining Zell eating hotdogs, Selphie singing about trains, and Rinoa playing with Angelo. It's just all too depressing.

The thing that makes this so hard is that I don't have any true friends that I can talk to about feeling lonely. I just can't keep it bottled up. I think I might have an idea of what I can do to change things, but I'm not sure if I should or not.

Cid told me to see a psychiatrist, but I don't want to do that. I'm not sure what I'm even doing on this world anymore. I mean I've lost the love of my life, and all my friends. I can't even imagine what another day like this will be like.

It's seems as if I'm losing sight of life altogether.


End file.
